11/5/99

The hills around my room overlooking the Chattahoochee valley have been on fire for the last few weeks. It's impossible to drive to work in the morning and not be simply awed by the colorful display of red, orange, yellow, brown against a sky of blue. Can you feel it? Winter and Christmas are just waiting to bust onto the scene. Lately, things have been so busy that I haven't had time to collect my thoughts. However, tonight I am a monk in his cell, alone with a chance to look back on the last few months and say "Thank you."

On my tombstone, I want two phrases, "Thank you" and "Forgive me"
-Rich Mullins

I've come to accept that there is change. Cherish the present and cling to it tightly because tommorrow it joins the memories of the past. Since my last writing, I have been flooded with new adventures. The long days of summer and all of its fun are now over. I was lazy and I loved it in those slow, hot days and oh, the weddings, would they ever end? Thank you and goodnight. I spent a day in the mountains of North Carolina with the girl of my dreams, though not quite how I expected. I journeyed to Durham and to Jacksonville and most recently, I bid farewell to an old friend.

We named my car Ashley. It seemed mean spirited at the time, but the old car took the name and wore it proudly. She was a grand car. She wasn't much to look at, an Olds Cutlass with worn-out upholstry that had a fairly new coat of paint to show on the outside. The car had seen its share of memories and journeyed all over the southeast United States. From Nashville to Panama City, from Dahlonega to Tifton. From Augusta to Savannah. From the mountain of Brasstown Bald to the ocean of Boca Racon. She carried some of my most cherished friends and only once did I ride in the passenger seat. (Not including the days of my youth when my grandmother, in that car, would take us to Anna Ruby Falls for a walk in the woods and Yonah Burgers.) In October, I finally decided to move on to a new era of my life and trade the car in. I have a new car, a beautiful Acura Integra, but it's lacking in memories. It has to prove itself before it occupies a place in my heart. I inaugerated it with a trip to Jacksonville, Florida and began to build the memories. May there be many more miles to come.

I turned 25 last week. Happy Birthday and all that jazz. What could I ask for? I am blessed so much with what I already have, a loving family, friends that for some reason consider me important, and a love that is mysterious and powerful that keeps me coming back for more. So, with all that already in my pocket, my birthday wish list was rather short.

• - A scenery that takes my breath away and marvel at the Creator
• - Music that is so powerful that it resonates with my soul and moves me to tears.
• - A continuing pull from the Almighty that keeps me from being sidetracked by the opinions and schemes of men
• - A constant reminder that I will never, on my own, "get it right" in this life.

Any of these can be sent directly to my home. Please add the appropriate postage.

(I'm currently listening to "My Redeemer Lives" by Mark Heard. Thank you for gift #2)

There are no roads leading backwards, so I guess I can't journey backwards. That leaves only one direction to go, which is far better than standing still. Onward to the Darkest Night of the Year.

Jeff Holland, 11/5/99


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